Because You Don't Ask.

A brave one...

2010-02-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

It's truly astounding to notice and come to terms with how much of our society is based on fear. Individual minds are conditioned that way because that is all anybody knows any more. Or maybe ever. Right out of the womb we must obey our parents... or else. Then we go to school and we have to follow the rules, listen to the teacher and play nice with the other kids... or else. Fine. That's fine. I'm not an anarchist... there needs to be order and boundaries. But the deepest cut is made when we start paying attention to our faith and beliefs. We are told that we have to check off certain things on our lists... or else God will not love us. We aren't good. We aren't worthy. We aren't worth anything in the eyes of the Higher Power...

Nope. Not buying that. I am calling religion out. It's all about FEAR. I'm stating the obvious here. You all have thought this through. I am actually calling bull shit on the idea of putting God in a box. I believe in God with everything I have. And I know deep down to my CORE that He (or She) has no problem with me saying that.

I'm really not afraid to question the hell out of existence. And I like it that way. This is new for me. I used to lay awake at night and have panic attaks as a little girl worried that I was going to hell.

Can you really...HONESTLY... believe that God is conditional? I can't. Just can't do it. And I don't think that a book can possibly define what we believe is God. Sure, people have extraordinary spiritual gifts and experiences... we have received wonderful revelation... but how ignorant of us to think that's all there is to it. We think out society is so advanced... I think that that assumption is a sign that we are still very primitive.

I think God and our existence is so much grander and more wonderful than we have any clue of. I think we have absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I think we attempt to scratch the surface of what life means...only to find a dead end because we live in a 3-dimensional world. And we only have 5 senses. We poke around at it... scrapes here and there...

Good times.

I'm not going to hell. God gave me a brain so I could use it. Same with you. Fear is crippling. Maybe that's what "hell" is....

Let's just LOVE, shall we?

Holy Shit.

2010-02-08T10:38:00.001-08:00

Sometimes... most of the time... it sucks seeing good in people. You see their soul. You see it in their eyes. But that doesn't mean that they see it. Their own fucking brains are in the way.

And then I'm taken advantage of. My "T & A" post if for real. IT IS REAL. I fucking hate men and I wish I were a lesbian. But, alas, I'm not...

I'm not going to get any satisfaction right now about the whole thing. It will be later on in life. People who fucking take advantage of people will have to deal with bad karma. Especially when they fuck around with people with hearts of gold. I'm a good girl. A good girl, and I don't deserve to have my heart thrown around. I'm a 23-year-old virgin, for crying out loud. And I'm hot. What the fuck.

I have an analogy for how my energy is right now: ya know when you spin around in a twisty chair? It's so fun. And then all of a sudden, you stop abruptly and start spinning the other way. It is the weirdest sensation....

So here's to you: Way to get some. I know it's all a game for you. Yeah, man. Way to be cool. You got some sweet action from a Davis Girl. And Hey! You even drive a hotrod. Soooooo cool. Buddy... you don't know who just fucked around with.

And....

I forgive you. And I pity you. You must be hurting inside.

P.S. One wise woman said this... "There are two types of men in the world: Ones that hold your hand and ones that do you. And the ones that do you aren't worth a damn."

2010-02-06T16:14:00.000-08:00

Dear "Gentlemen",

STOP BEING ASSHOLES.
I dare you.

Love,
Cass

T & A

2009-12-28T14:49:00.001-08:00

It's true. Guys want one thing: ass. That's it. No joke. They will tell you it's not true. They'll be all cutesy, take you dancing, touch your face, whatever. It's all bullshit. They're clever, those men. It's just too damn bad I have personality and brains. It's also too damn bad I respect myself. I could be getting lots of ass myself on a daily basis. But, alas, I personally believe there is more to life than sex. As a Gemini lady, I must make an intellectual connection before anything else. But NOOOOO. My rack gets in the way of having an any kind of intelligent conversation with a male.
You can rely on this. I have a single mom who is gorgeous and has dated many men over the past 10 years. I have two gorgeous younger sisters. I, myself, have a cornucopia of experiences. Because of my eternal optimism and child-like joy, I've always thought... there must be a cool dude out there somewhere.... HA. It's become quite clear that it's all shit.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the physical stuff... but, my hell. What happens after? That stuff doesn't last every hour of every day.

What to do, what to do....

Maybe I'll join a convent.

But I'm sure I'll go back to my childish optimism tomorrow.

Thank you for listening. This may all be caused by the recent revival of Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill" in my car.

I am SUCH a Gemini.

Top 5 Favorite Movies

2009-12-25T20:18:00.001-08:00

1. Breakfast at Tiffany's

2. Good Will Hunting

3. Singin' in the Rain

4. Meet Joe Black

5. Inglourious Basterds

More to come. I was just excited that I made a decision about this.

Meanies.

2009-11-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

People are afraid to be nice.

Yes. AFRAID.

Last year, I learned that ALL emotions stem from one of two things: LOVE or FEAR. It's that simple. Negative = Fear. Postitive = Love.

The people who are mean, rude and conceited are AFRAID.

You know what else? NEVER take it personally. When someone tells you that you're a fat pig, it's not actually about YOU. Think about that. It's about THEM and their insecurities. So... know that. Live in love. Be nice.

2009-05-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you've done everything you could but it still isn't enough? In fact, it's counterproductive? You give someone you dearly love everything you have for years, believe in them, support them, laugh with them, think they are the shit... only to find out that the cause of their unhappiness is you and they won't tell you why. What the HELL do you do??

The Bipolar Blog.

2009-03-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

For every negative comment I make in this blog, I am going to follow up with a positive one. In other words, Negative paragraph/Positive/Negative, etc... That'll throw us for a loop! Ew, I'm being all scholastic about how I'm explaining this. OkAYYY.

First off, last night's Jazzmin show was SOOO FUNNN!!! I frickin' LOVE what I do. I LOVE being a musician. And I love the people involved with Jazzmin. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be around. I can't believe how much I've learned over the past two years. Wow. Wow wow. What a blessing!!!

Now. Let's talk about what real friends are. It has become very clear to me that many people are foreign to this concept. Especially girls. Seriously, ladies... why are you stabbing each other in the back? Will someone please explain this to me? I recently had a conversation with my friend and she explained how sick she is of her friends doing this to her. THEN... she turns right around and does this to me. I am not stupid... I know when I'm being messed with. Neither am I going to do anything about it because I have something called CLASS. I don't need to do anything about it because I am not threatened. It's all just unfortunate. So bring it, girl. YOU are the only one you are hurting. You know what else? Karma is a bitch. She is real and she will get you. Good thing I'm on her happy side!

How GORGEOUS is it today?!?! This is about t0 get cheesy: how beautiful are these little chirping birds? Think about that. Just that. How lovely are they? Thanks, God, for their sweet little spirits!! :) And these blossoms!!! And the sun!! And the flowers!!! God must have had so much funnnnn designing all this!! So much beauty. Take time to look at it all. It will inspire peace, love, gratitude and creativity. Speaking of creativity, I really believe that God wants us to create as much as possible. If we are created in His image, we are creators ourselves! Isn't that how our souls thrive? By creating and expressing? :)

I had a conversation with my great grandpa a few months ago. He told me that he came to the conclusion that guys in my generation are whimps. Ball-less, basically. He thinks it's unfortunate how they treat women now. When he was my age, he was taking my grandma to the Paladium in LA to swing dance while a young Frank Sinatra worked his way up. "He was a skinny, pimple-faced young man. But, oh boy, could he swing a tune!" I went off on a tangent there. His point was that back then, guys were guys. They pursued. They opened doors. They were classy. They were gentleman. They had balls. I am not complaining right now. It's just interesting how class has left our society. Where is the respect? Same goes for the gals. Women aren't classy anymore. It's just kinda sad. All in all: guys, grow a pair and be classy. Girls, stop being stupid. Everyone, just...ugh...stop with the games!!

This will drive me crazy for as long as I live: Have you ever tried to think up a new color?! It's trippy. And impossible. Sorry to pass that curse on to you.

Okay that wasn't nearly as long as I thought it was gonna be! Ha!! Oh well. Peace. Love. Laughter.

I Heart Piggies

2009-01-18T12:30:00.001-08:00

SO.

I’m a vegetarian now. Actually, more towards vegan. No meat, eggs or dairy. Pretty much no animal products go in my mouth. It’s weird. I used to look at the people walking in and out of Whole Foods and think, “Come on. You look like you smell bad.” Seriously, first thought. Terrible, I know.

So now, I get to be one of the “smellies” walking out of the soy isle. (What goes around comes around, apparently. I love Karma.)

Okay, this is the real story. I bought that book “Skinny Bitch” because I’m a woman and I can’t resist reading something like that… for kicks…. or so I thought. I had no idea what I was in for. Yes, a benefit of following the stuff in this book is getting skinny. It’s also being a vegan and how extraordinarily healthy it is. The main reason I decided to take this book to heart is for the animals. Not even kidding. If you read this book, you will not eat a piece of meat again if you have a heart for animals. Even a little heart. One chapter in particular goes into detail of how these sweet little animals are treated. It is the most horrifying thing I have ever read. I bawled for an hour. For example, those chicken nuggets you’re eating right now may have been boiled alive (this is after a lifetime of forced cannibalism, burned off beaks and growing up in a cage with other rotting dead chickens). Even if you don’t have a heart for animals, you are putting that in your body. I’ve been doing this for 22 years. Sick sick sick!

NOW… if you are reading this and you eat meat, that’s fine. I respect and love you no matter what. Just do the same for me. This is a choice I’ve made and I’m really happy about it.

“But what about protein?” Welp, the stupid FDA has led us to believe that we need much more protein than we really do. They also make you believe that eating animals is the only way to get said protein. Guess who runs the slaughterhouses? The FDA. Hmmm. I get my protein from legumes, sea vegetables, beans, soy, hemp milk and nuts.

I sound like I think I’m a pro at this. I’m not yet. I’m just passionate about it. I’ve been doing this for 10 days. And you know what? I feel fabulous. As a diabetic, my blood sugars have been really good and just feel… better Part of this whole this is buying as much organic as I can. I’ve done a lot of research on this, especially because I’m a college student trying to save money, dammut. Turns out organic is worth the extra cash. It’s worth not eating out. Oh, and I’ve also quit caffeine and sugar. It breaks my heart a little. My sweet tooth hates me. I decided after doing this for a month, I’m going to get a cupcake from Gigi’s and make myself sick. Neat little experiment, huh? And after six months I’m going to try eating a steak… not because I want to, but to see how different I feel and how my taste buds have changed. And by the way, vegans smell better than meat eaters. Seriously, my breath is minty-fresh and sexy.

Again, I’m just writing about this because it’s new and I love it.

Granola girl has to stop blogging and get back to work. They aren’t paying me to love animals

Some Juice.

2008-12-12T15:37:00.000-08:00

I was driving home a little while ago after a great day. That one Rascal Flatts song came on the radio... it goes "And I wouldn't change a thing...." something something "Walk right through the rain..." I don't know the rest, but it made me realize this: some of the greatest things in life bring some of the greatest heartaches imaginable. Today was a great day to realize this, too. I would go through the awful shit that I have gone through 10 more times ... more than that if necessary... if it meant I got to experience the somewhat short-lived, unimaginable joy I went through before it... even if it lasted for only, say, a week...a few months.... With all the conviction I have, I say this: I wouldn't change one thing. I would not give up that wonderfulness to spare me from the pain after. It was all worth it. And I thank God from the bottom of my heart :) That's part of what makes life so beautiful.

So I guess it's kind of the opposite of what the song is talking about.... but still.

Hello.

2008-12-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

I can foresee me becoming an angry person because of this blog. In case this does happen, I promise I am a lovely individual who doesn't hate everything. But a girl has to bitch somewhere.

The reason I decided to start blogging (haha what a word) is because I am "too nice." I will take hours out of my sweet time to listen to people... and I truly do care. I want to listen. I'm good at it and I have learned how to love it. However, after years of not being listened to and having to deal with that, I'm getting tired. I bust my butt to not be a selfish blabber who is either trying to prove herself or is just mean. Do you follow? I am saying I have a LOT to say. So this is my way of saying it without forcing it on you. I am weary of trying to put in my two cents over the obnoxious yellings of others who refuse to grow up.

I am already getting a little worked up. This is great.

So, damn it, sometimes you are to get this side of me... swear words and all. I am as I appear: happy, sweet, kind, caring... but the tables turn... I am also: sassy, cynical at times, angry, sad, bitchy. Some of the stuff I say on here will be one, other stuff with be the other. Just depends. This particular blog is clearly on the cynical side.

Enjoy.